Episode 129

129 - Is “Gender-Affirming Care” an Oedipus Trap

Published on: 1st September, 2023

In this episode, Stella & Sasha explore the concept of an Oedipus Trap, inspired by a podcast with Megan McArdle (see below). Sasha and Stella apply this psychological concept to the issue of childhood transition and how so many people involved might refuse to face their own mistakes or acknowledge their own accountability to the consequences of gender-affirming care.

In her opinion piece for the Washington Post (linked below), Megan McArdle describes the oedipus trap as “There are some mistakes no one can live with, no matter how innocently they were made…Thus the trap: If you have made such a mistake, it is obviously better not to know you have done so.” The origin of the concept comes from the story of Oedipus from Greek mythology (linked below).

In their conversation, Stella & Sasha speak delicately, but candidly about reconciling the choices and actions of affirmative clinicians, as their stories and experiences can offer valuable insights for reflection and learning around the harm vs. benefit analysis of youth gender transition.

Links:

Pre-Order When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents

https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/

Attend Our Live Event – When Kids Say They’re Trans: Weekend of Workshops | September 21-24, 2023

https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/weekend-of-workshops

Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans: Tales from the Home Front in the Fight to Save Our Kids

https://www.amazon.com/Parents-Inconvenient-Truths-about-Trans/dp/1634312465

Megan McArdle on the Oedipus Trap

https://youtu.be/UpbNslZejOU

The Washing Post Article

Opinion | What the world can learn from a lobotomy surgeon’s horrible mistake

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/02/14/walter-freeman-lobotomy-regret/

Oedipus from Greek Mythology

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Oedipus-Greek-mythology

If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:

Episode 27 — Behind the Curtain: Psychotherapy for Gender Dysphoria with Sue and Marcus Evans

https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/27-behind-the-curtain-psychotherapy-for-gender-dysphoria-with-sue-and-marcus-evans

Episode 91 — Uncovering the GIDS Disaster: Dr. Dave Bell

https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/91-uncovering-the-gids-disaster-dr-dave-bell

Episode 104 — No Time to Think with Hannah Barnes: The Downfall of GIDS at the Tavistock

https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/104-no-time-to-think-with-hannah-barnes-the-downfall-of-gids-at-the-tavistock

Episode 109 — What If We Are All Wrong: A Mother’s Regret with Rose

https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/109-what-if-we-are-all-wrong-a-mothers-regret-with-rose

Episode 112 — Jamie Reed: “Every Ethical Line I Drew Was Walked On… We Are Hurting People”

https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/112-jamie-reed-every-ethical-line-i-drew-was-walked-on-we-are-hurting-people

Episode 125 — From Gender Expert to Skeptical Dissenter with Sara Stockton

https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/125-from-gender-expert-to-skeptical-dissenter-with-sara-stockton

GWL Episode Playlist

Conversations about Medical Interventions & Gender

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLngVCeAoK6vtz3WOn5z8WUM5PidraNGZU

GWL Episode Playlist

Top Episodes for Therapists Working with Gender

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLngVCeAoK6vv_wKkIthqg5VwlsgOalbGl

GWL Episode Playlist

GIDS at the Tavistock

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLngVCeAoK6vs7WNSdGF6ynVS9cviXsh9s

GWL Episode Playlist

The Dutch Studies

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLngVCeAoK6vudCwfy0R2Rvg_SH2QxBJTu

Please visit www.widerlenspod.com to explore more content, access additional resources, or to join our listener community.

Watch us on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod

For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups:

Sasha Ayad: https://inspiredteentherapy.com/parents-start-here

Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching

To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Apple Podcasts Spotify RSS Feed Google Podcasts

Show artwork for Gender: A Wider Lens Podcast

About the Podcast

Gender: A Wider Lens Podcast

Two therapists explore the expanding concept of "gender" from a psychological depth perspective.

Gender dysphoria has become a minefield for public discussion, with many afraid to express their views or question the narrative. Our mission is to examine this important and complex topic from a range of perspectives, but always through a psychological lens. By openly considering and examining gender identity, transition, and the transgender umbrella, we hope to give all interested parties permission to engage these fascinating topics with less fear and more honesty. Interviews and discussions will involve clinicians, medical professionals, academics, transgender people, parents, detransitioners and other interesting individuals whose lives have been touched by the concept of gender.

Conversations between two practicing therapists give listeners an opportunity to contemplate gender from a depth perspective not currently taken up in most of today’s accessible debates. As a result of their work with gender dysphoric therapy clients as well as their personal divergent experiences with gender, Stella and Sasha hold a refreshing and informed perspective.

Is gender identity a facilitation of development and expression of creativity, or can it be a defense against painful existential realities of living in a human body? What can we discover about masculinity, femininity, identity, gender performance, and sexuality when we peer beneath the surface and dive into a deeper psychological exploration? What is the relationship between body, mind, identity, culture, and psyche?

This podcast engages listeners in an intimate and fascinating behind-the-scenes inquiry about a topic as taboo as it is salient today.

Thank you to our sponsors:
Genspect - an international organization which offers an alternative to WPATH. Providing a range of education, resources and supports to anyone impacted by gender distress, Genspect unites many different organizations globally, and gives voice to 1,000s of previously untold stories. For more info, visit genspect.org.

GETA - an association of therapists who believe that individuals experiencing gender related concerns ought to be treated using a whole person approach. GETA connects like minded clinicians, provides educational resources and trainings, and helps people with gender dysphoria find support. For more info, visit genderexploratory.com.

Support This Show

About your hosts

Stella O'Malley

Stella O’Malley is a psychotherapist and author who works in private practice in Ireland. Her work focuses on parenting, family dynamics and working with teenagers.

Much of Stella’s counselling and writing focuses on mental health and the importance of well-being and she is a regular contributor to the media. She is also the resident psychotherapist for the current TV series, Raised by the Village, a family programme that helps troubled teenagers reconnect with themselves and their families.

Stella's first book, Cotton Wool Kids, was released in 2015 while Bully-Proof Kids: Practical tools to help kids grow up confident, resilient and strong was released in 2017. Stella’s latest book Fragile, was released in 2019 and focuses on overcoming anxiety and stress.

Stella was the presenter of the documentary Trans - Kids: It’s Time To Talk broadcast on Channel 4 in November 2018 and she contributed a chapter to the 2019 book, Inventing Transgender Children and Young People.

The Jungian analyst, Lisa Marchiano, and Stella launched Secrets of the Motherworld in September 2019, offering thoughtful exploration of the most intimate aspects of motherhood in a bid to help mothers feel less alone.

Stella is a Clinical Advisor for the Society for Evidence-based Gender Medicine and a founding member of the International Association of Therapists for Desisters and Detransitioners. She is also the lead facilitator for the Gender Dysphoria Support Network.

Stella holds a B.A. in Counselling and Psychotherapy and a M.A. in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

Sasha Ayad

Sasha Ayad is a Licensed Professional Counselor who works in private practice, and has treated adolescents for over 10 years. Her work focuses on teens and young adults struggling with issues of gender dysphoria and gender identity.

She became interested in the sharp rise in teenagers who declare a trans identity for the first time during adolescence. She discovered, through working with hundreds of families, that many teens were developing gender dysphoria only after adopting a transgender identity. She questions the practice of medical transition for children and teenagers, and her clinical work focuses on developmentally appropriate, least-invasive-first talk therapy.

Sasha is also a founding member and Clinical Advisor in the Society for Evidence-based Gender Medicine and a founding member of the International Association of Therapists for Desisters and Detransitioners.

Sasha’s previous work experience includes:
- School counselor for middle and high school students at a charter school for underserved communities

- Behavioral therapy with children on the autism spectrum

- Individual and group counseling for women and children impacted by domestic abuse and sexual violence

- Developed and ran the first counseling program at a large state supported living facility for adults with intellectual disability

Sasha holds a B.S. in Psychology and an M.Ed. in Counseling Psychology.